Meet Mom

Hi, I’m Mom, but most people call me Julie.

I say most people because my niece calls me Judy, my friends call me Gonzo, Hooles, “J”, Jules, or JC, my aunt calls me Peanut, and my husband calls me Kit. There are stories behind each name, but for the purposes of this blog, we’ll focus on my favorite: “Mom”.

3rd trimester I’m a young professional working in the nonprofit sector, but more importantly, I’m Andrew’s wife and mom to Nora and Ruby. I started this blog a few weeks after Ruby was stillborn in May of 2014.

I’ve always been someone who turned to writing as a form of therapy. Selfishly, this blog started as a place for me to sort through my thoughts. No “greater purpose” or mission. Then I began doing more research about stillbirths…

Each year, more than 26,000 babies are stillborn in the United States. Thats one out of every 160 or more than 70 babies per day. What’s more, one third of those families will receive no explanation as to why this may have happened. Some research suggests that figure is even closer to 50% or higher. Andrew and I fit into that group.

In the weeks following the worst day of my life, I realized two things:

1) I never wanted a day to go by that I didn’t think about or talk to Ruby.
2) There are 25,999 other families every year experiencing the same heartbreak as Andrew and I, but nobody is talking about it. The research is slim and answers are few, but the grief is deep and all consuming.

Things need to change.

This blog is my tribute to my first born daughter. It is my way of keeping her a part of my everyday life. It is written through periods of grief and triumph, sadness and hope, anger and determination. It is written to talk about the hell of losing a child, but the importance in finding the beauty in everyday.

Life is beautiful and precious and fragile and it is my belief that I owe it to Ruby to live fully in her honor.

headshot Thank you for reading,
Julie

Contact me: dearrubymae14@gmail.com

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7 thoughts on “Meet Mom

  1. This is so unbelievably beautiful. I am so grateful to have met you- and to read about your journey in healing. Thank you so much for reminding us that life is so precious and to see the beauty in it everyday.
    Thinking about you.
    Love,
    Emily

  2. You’re so right that nobody is talking about it. I know personally that I never know what to say to a parent who has lost a child. The opening of conversation you are starting here on Dear Ruby Mae is a great start for awareness and support. You are making Ruby proud with this wonderful tribute and for touching the lives of others.

  3. i lost my daughter in april 2014 and reading your words brought back all the memories the pain the guilt and feelings….all the best for your pregnancy

  4. Your reading supporters are so anxious to hear the birth story of Ruby’s little sister! I know you are probably very busy enjoying your little gift, but when you are ready to write, we are ready to read and celebrate with you!

  5. I found your post by accident. I saw the words, “Ruby Mae”. That was my mother’s name. I am her name sake, except my middle name is not hers. My mother was a wonderful teacher. I learned her ways, and became a teacher. I just found your blog. I hope you will save the good memories always.

  6. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey, my grandson was born at 26 weeks pregnant and has fought everyday. Every little thing, every heartbeat is a gift, I look forward to reading more about Ruby and her new little sister.

  7. Thank-you for sharing your story Julie. Ruby would of been so lucky to have such loving and empathetic mother as you. I hope you meet again some day. Nora is going to have a great life and I wish you all the best of luck, health and happiness.

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